Goals for now

I started both of my blogs so I would have a way to focus my writing. The big goal was to be published, which goes towards the overall goal of being recognised as a poet. I feel I am starting to see all of this a bit more realistically. Not matter what happens I will always write poetry. It is how I express myself. Anyone who knows me will tell you expressing myself seems to come easily to me - well to a certain degree yes it does. Yet there are some things where there is not quick explanation, but somehow even in my darker moments the words I do find seem to give the appearance of poetry.

The point of this post - just in case it is not very clear yet. I now accept that yes it is nice to be published, but this should never be the reason one writes. I love the fact that 2 of my poems Winters Sonnet 2.0 and Red Tears were published in the first issue of the Teesside Artists' Journal. Yet writing each of those poems had nothing to do with whether I would be able to find a place to have them published.

Also, whether anyone cares to read this post is up to them. This post and this moment is about accepting why I write and why I bother to share what I write. There will also be moments that my life doesn't allow for much time to write poetry, but this does not mean this is far from my thoughts.

This work is licenced under a Creative Commons Licence.

Why do I write poetry? Q&A

I have been chatting with a friend Ian about keeping a blog and what he could do with his photography. You can check out Ian's photography blog or Flickr photostream. I love Ian's photos as I often find myself seeing the world through Ian's lens in a way I would never had imagined.

Ian emailed me on Sunday a range of questions that can be summed up as - Why do I write poetry? Here is my response to those questions (with only a little editing to make sure it actually makes sense):

• Inspiration. How do you come up with ideas?

Sometimes words simply pop into my head and they will not go away. Other times I see something, an event or what the sky looks like today and I want to express that experience.

• Construction. How do you go about getting your ideas down? How do you get from there's-this-idea-in-my-head to ah-what-a-nice-finished-poem?

It is easier when the words that come to me are in some sort of sequence and I go from there. But sometimes it takes a bit more work. I often know if those random words I jot down are worth working on further. I try to create the shell and then decide again if I want to do more work. Then it is a process of polishing and chipping away. The longest I have ever worked on a poem is over a couple of months but that was about a particular event that was difficult to write about because I was telling the story of other people I know. Though there have been a couple of times that I have found the draft of a poem I wrote years ago and came back to it.

• Editing. Do you edit as you go? Do you write in one go, then edit after?

Most of the time I try to get my thoughts down in one go but sometimes things stick out as I type them up. I have scraps of paper all over the place with bits of poems that will never been complete and others that were the 1st draft. Yet now I find it useful to type things up directly when they come to me. I have even resorted to typing them in my phone as a text.

• Style. How do you feel about formal styles of poetry - haiku (whatever it is), limerick, sonnet, pentameter etc, blank verse, ..? (Have you tried them all?)

I like experimenting with particular styles, to see how far I can go and to challenge myself. However more often I just write what comes to me and the poem tells me how it should be structured. I know that I need to teach myself more styles so I can simply write a poem that ends up being a particular style. Oh and limericks are evil and for some reason I find them impossible to write. I have only successfully done so once and that was when I wrote something about the work I do as a gift to a colleague.

• Why do you write poetry anyway? Aren't there enough starving poets in the world already? (Not intended to be provocative. I'm sure you have a serious answer to this.)

Have you ever read the blurb on my blog? That sums up why I write poetry ;-).

I do not expect to make a living out of poetry but I would love to be recognised as a poet in the same way I am a librarian and you are a teacher. I have thoughts constantly rushing through my head and quite often those thoughts are abstract and hard to explain. Poetry allows me to take what is in my head and create something that is no longer part of me. It is hard to explain but I often find myself wondering how I came up with a poem. Recently I have actually asked myself "where did that come from and did I really write that". I can not actually memorise my poems as I often feel like they are separate entities. What I enjoy most are other people's reaction to a poem and what they read from it. It makes me look at one of my poems with new eyes.

Now I am putting the challenge to Ian to answer similar questions in regards to - Why do you take photographs Ian? I have pasted slightly edited questions to better suite taking photos rather than writing poetry. I think these are the sort of questions that anyone who has creative pursuits may find worth answering themselves. I especially think Graeme should also answer these questions as well in regards to the photos he takes (be careful what you say :D)

• Inspiration. What inspires you to take you camera out to take a shot?
• Construction. How do you go about composing a photo as you take it? How do you get from there's-this-idea-in-my-head to ah-what-a-nice-finished-photo?
• Editing. Do you edit as you go with digital images? Do you take a lot of photos, then edit after?
• Style. How do you feel about particular styles of photographs - black and white, portraits, abstract (Have you tried them all?) {ok trying to sound clever and come up with some eg with little success}
• Why do you take photos anyway? Aren't there enough starving photographers in the world already? (This is intended to be provocative ;-). I'm sure you will have a serious answer to this.)
• Is there a photo you have seen that someone else has taken that has inspired you and how you take photographs?

Finding time

I finally found some time tonight to delve into the blogs I am currently following. I have family staying right now so I go through the guilt of ignoring them so I can instead spend time getting lost online. I will try to post while they are here and I guess this will be a test of how much of blogger I have become.

I have set up a couple of things within my blogs like my twitter @ally_cat feed. I have also set up a basic Flickr account and from this I have added a poetry slideshow feed into my blog of writing that contains images I created with poems contained within. I loved creating those images and I think it is time I create some new ones, as I have found they make a great screen saver at work: they are my personal signature.

I loved changing the template to this blog and everytime I look at it I feel the warmth of the colours. Thank you again Graeme for letting me use one of your images which fit perfectly to the colours I had already picked out :)

Looking back

I have started looking through poems that I wrote over the last 3 years or so. It is an interesting thing to do, as it allows you to look at a piece with fresh eyes. I think the most interesting part of looking back is that you get to decide if something is worth working on further to enhance your thinking a couple of years down the track. Or instead I have found, with some pieces, I scratch my head and wonder: what was I thinking.

One of the pieces I just posted that falls under a "re-discovered poem" is Faceting a Friend and next is Roller Coaster Ride. There are other pieces on my list, but they need more work before I put them up.

Finding inspiration

All around us there is beauty. The trick is to both stop and take it all in while also capturing what you are witnessing. I am starting to finally realise that writing, even with very few words, is how I express the quietness from within. I like to watch the world and I need a way to speak up.

Another reality I face is that my job requires a lot of creative thinking. Where I am often mapping out plans for what needs to happen now and years into the future and I love the challenge and freedom I have been given. Yet because my job requires so much creative thinking I arrive home at the end of the day and do not want to think anything of great depth. So I waste hours doing nothing, letting myself escape from the world.

How do I find time to write? I have learnt that during the day to allow myself treats. When a line, an impression, or something else comes to my mind like a dripping tap: I need to stop and listen. It does not take a perfect moment, simply a moment in order to capture and let it wash over me. This means the tapping stops while not letting the moment be lost.

I have also tried to find tools that allow me to capture those thoughts. I have scattered Word documents that I may never open again and I also scribble notes on paper. In the last few months I have grown to love the small white board at my desk as it allows me to place tiny pieces into a corner of the world. In small ways Twitter has allowed me to peck at thoughts - to bounce between the ideas of creating systems for work and bewilderment at so much that happens in life.

I do not neglect my work to write, however I do find time to treat myself and allow myself to write ideas down. I am most importantly honest with my colleagues that some times I get captured by my writing, even while I am at work.

Treat your self and do not feel guilty for who you are :-).

Where the idea began

I have to admit that the idea for a blog of poetry began with an idea someone else came up with: Barbara Flowers who contacted others about creating a place online for people to share the writing. As each writer created their own blog Barbara would all these blogs of writing to one central place - this central blog is now called the Writers' Blog, and began as the Queensland Writing Blog. There was also the possibility for meeting in person, but that never occurred and now I live in another country.

I have realised I have never thanked Barbara for starting me on this journey and I think it has been a very thankless task. That is bad on my part. Part of this post is to tell others about the Writers' Blog and suggest that if you are intending to start a blog of writing that this blog is worth looking into.

Thank you Barbara for helping me find a voice :-)